Monthly Archive for December, 2009

The inimitable Dickens in A Christmas Carol:

Marley was dead: to begin with.  There is no doubt whatever about that.  The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner.  Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ‘Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to.  Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Mind!  I don’t mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail.  I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade.  But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country’s done for.  You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Scrooge knew he was dead?  Of course he did. How could it be otherwise?

And the conclusion:

Scrooge was better than his word.  He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father.  He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world.  Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms.  His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.  May that be truly said of us, and all of us!  And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!

God bless us, every one. Merry Christmas.  Christ is King.

During the Christmas season, my mother aims for “grandmotherly glory.” Without apology, she wants to display that she is the supreme grandmother in her home. She intends that all people in Greater Keosauqua, Iowa (my hometown) will see that she is the most glorious Grandma for her grandchildren.

Grandma’s glory: that is the goal.

Here is the cool part. My mother pursues her glory by helping her grandchildren celebrate the best Christmas possible. She knows that she will look the most glorious as a grandma when her grandchildren are most happy at her house. So, Grandma Sharon decks the halls. She trims two Christmas trees: each an island in a sea of presents. Grandma hangs so much holly on the staircase that you half expect Robin Hood and Little John to slide down the banister in green suits.

Grandma Sharon cooks. She whips up a meal that makes the Whoville festivities (you know, from The Grinch) look like a soup kitchen. Prime rib and ham, peas and potatoes, a pretzel salad that we count as a side dish but it really should be classified as a desert.

Laughter and the smell of pies and prime rib drift through her home. Grandma’s glory shines.

But, Grandma Sharon’s glory does not blaze at the expense of her grandchildren’s joy. Quite the opposite, she is most glorified as a grandma when her grandchildren’s eyes shine with excitement.

Is Grandma Sharon selfish to pursue her own glory? No. A grandma should shine before her grandchildren. For both grandma, and the children, it is a matter of them living out their proper roles. The selfish thing would be if my mother abdicated her role as a grandma and was not there for them at Christmas time. She would then deny them maximum joy.

You say, “Well, she must let them do anything they want.” Not at all. There are plenty of things my mom won’t let the kids do. She forbids them from pointing loaded shotguns at one another. She is quite strict about this point. Is Grandma Sharon being mean? Of course, not: it is for their own good (Deuteronomy 10:12-13).

Grandma Sharon runs her glory show on her time frame. Everybody waits for Grandma. The children wait for presents and we wait for dinner. The smaller children ask every five minutes when we will open presents. They want toys now. But, Grandma knows it is better to wait. We wonder at points. Someone who is hungry (my children’s father for instance) might suggest that Grandma Sharon is “slow.” “Where is this meal she has been promising?” We might ask.  But, Grandma Sharon is not slow as some understand slowness (2 Peter 3:8-9). She knows that when it’s all said and done, we aren’t going to enjoy raw meat. And, if the grandchildren are not satisfied in her, it will darken Grandma’s glory.

Grandma Sharon doesn’t do anything untrue to herself. Suppose the children decided that they wanted to go to a different grandma’s house in Keosauqua. She wouldn’t allow that. Or, what if my son Benjamin decided that he wanted to be the grandparent? It would never fly. He doesn’t deserve the glory or know how to prepare the meal. It would make him miserable in the long run. My mom wants her glory and his happiness. The two have to be pursued together in the right way.

So, if my children said to me, is Christmas in Keosauqua about making Grandma look good or is it about us having fun, I would say, “both.” You make Grandma look good by having fun in her.

But, my kids don’t ask. Nor, do I ever have to motivate them to go to Keosauqua for Christmas at Grandma’s. Picking up their clothes and doing odd jobs is a different story. But, they are stoked about going to Grandma’s. They know that their job is to make Grandma look good by maximizing their joy.