Pastor Tom Anderst reflects on the loss of both of his parents:
My mom died Wednesday, January 4, 2012. She had been ill for quite some time. We were surprised when it happened because she seemed to be doing better. Yet, in the end it was a blessing. She had suffered much over 2011. I have experienced grief in my Mom’s passing. Even though we were prepared, there was still the shock of not having that person to talk with anymore.
Yet the more surprising thing to me was that suddenly, I had no parents. My dad died in 2005. Yet I still had Mom to talk to and her life experience to draw from. But from January 4th on I’ve entered new territory. .
I know millions have traveled this road before. Many of you are walking it right now. But someone taught me many years ago that I don’t have to pretend that I have all the answers because I don’t. Nobody does. So I’ve learned to ask others about their life experience and what they’ve learned in living life without parents.
Here’s some comments received so far:
• That “orphan” feeling takes a long time to get used to.
• I did not ever think I would miss my mom as much as I do as time goes on.
• It’s very weird not having parents.
Read the rest here.
The man is right. Mom died in 1986, and Dad in 2010. I don’t think any one would call me a mama’s boy, but you never get done needing a mom. And as for Dad, well, being a son isn’t quite what it once was.
Ditto. I vividly remember when my dad died, New Year’s Day of 1993. It felt as if something essential was missing from the universe, as if you went outside, puzzled awhile, then realized the sun wasn’t in the sky anymore. Also, with him gone, I felt more vulnerable and exposed. I was thrust forward. There wasn’t that strong man to fall back on anymore.
I so wished I could have told him that in advance — but there was no way I could have known the profundity of that loss before I experienced it. At least I got to tell him that I loved him and was proud of him.
My name’s marvin im 17 years old my parents got divorced when i was 6 that day i felt like my whole world was braking apart now the im 17 years old and i know the difference between both of them i know the they were not meant for eachother there still alive thanks to god but when i was 11 i made a decision of moving and be a grown boy and go far away from them.. i went and live with my godparents its been a tough life my dad has never been the dad every kid wish for he has never been there for me everything i have learn i have learned on my own!!I really wish i didn’t had this type of life my godfather has been a big symbol in my life but not enough to replace the man who gave me life! I feel like i never had a life of being a kid i was too young when i made the decision of moving with my godparents but it was for me to have a better life!! Theres nights where i want to ask questions and i wonder about life but there’s never somebody there for me and it hurts real bad i never thought it was going to be this hard but it happends alot lately!
Marvin, thanks for commenting so transparently . . . Did you have a church home where the Bible is proclaimed?
No sir!
Marvin, Step #1 is to find a good, Bible believing, Christ-proclaiming church. If you let us know the area you are in, we might be able to make suggestions.
sometimes in life we have good moments with our parents
life is not easy without your parents