I mentioned previously that I am speaking at Peacemakers National Conference September 16-19. Today they put up a short video of me explaining why I wrote Unpacking Forgiveness.
Archive for the 'Forgiveness' Category
In a fallen world, conflict is never far away. As individuals and churches, we need ministries like Peacemakers. I agree with Justin Taylor that every church should at least be familiar with their work.
Consider this quote from C.J. Mahaney:
In fact, it is with great confidence that I can predict: You will face relational conflict in your future. Not only your distant future, but your immediate future. . . For as sinners living in a fallen world, conflict is inevitable and in fact, is heading your way right now. You can count on it.
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In Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds I wrote:
If I could recommend only one resource on working through conflicts, it would probably be Ken Sande’s, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
. It contains a wealth of practical information on how to work through conflict resolution. Sande and the organization he founded, Peacemaker Ministries, have decades of experience in working through conflict resolution, and this book is a gold mine of practical advice.
Since writing Unpacking, my respect for Peacemakers has only grown. Last Spring, I spoke for their staff retreat in Montana and grew in my appreciation for their organization. Along with Josh Harris, Thabite, Anyawbile, and others, I am scheduled to be a keynote speaker at the National Peacemaker Conference this Fall in the Washington, D.C. area.
I was delighted to see today that Justin Taylor has taken the time to put together a web page with helpful links. If you want to learn more about Peacemakers, then be sure and visit Justin’s summary.
I would recommend that every church at least be familiar with Peacemaker Ministries and the resources that they offer. I recently had an opportunity to lead a group through their small-group DVD set and study guide, and the feedback was very encouraging, with tangible fruit produced.
They have a church resource set, which contains posters, sermon outlines, a DVD, leader’s guide, and small-group participants’ guides. This is a great way to introduce a “culture of peacemaking” throughout the church. A newer resource is a DVD-based group study designed specifically church leadership teams, calledThe Leadership Opportunity: Living Out the Gospel Where Conflict and Leadership Intersect.
Here are some free online resources that give you an idea about their approach:
Getting to the Heart of Conflict – Conflict starts in the heart. Therefore, if we fail to address the heart in a conflict, then any solution will fall short of true reconciliation.
The Four G’s – The biblical system for resolving conflict is captured by “The Four G’s”: Glorify God, Get the log out of your own eye, Gently Restore, and Go and be reconciled.
The Slippery Slope – A visual tool for understanding the ways people tend to and ought to respond to conflict.
The Seven A’s of Confession – A guide to making a sincere and complete confession.
The PAUSE Principle – A biblical approach to negotiation.
The Four Promises of Forgiveness – A great way to remember what you are really saying (and committing to) when you say “I forgive you.”
The Peacemaker’s Pledge – Complete summary of biblical peacemaking, suitable for churches or organizations to commit to together.
Relational Commitments – A way for a church to make a mutual commitment to work together to pursue unity, maintain friendships, preserve marriages, and build relationships that reflect the love of Christ.
The Gospel of Peace Mirrored Through Peacemaking – A summary statement of how the gospel of Jesus Christ is at the core of biblical peacemaking.
Mike Law, a pastor in Arlington, Virginia, has posted an excerpt on pride from Unpacking Forgiveness.
I mentioned earlier that I’ve recently been reading Chris Brauns’ bookUnpacking Forgiveness. There are several reasons that I’d recommend this book, but if nothing else, I’d recommend this book for Brauns insights on page 81. That page is stuffed full of things that challenged my heart. Just consider this insight on pride:
“Pride is not limited to arrogance or cockiness; it is not just an inflated opinion of oneself. Pride is any way of putting self into the central focus.”[1]
Helpfully Brauns goes on to offer a list of questions to help his readers think about how pride might be expressing itself in our lives. Consider his questions and reflections from, you guessed it, page 81!
“Are you overly critical? Discernment is a good thing (Philippians 1:9-11; Romans 12:1-2). But discerning people sometimes go a step too far in feeling the need to critique everything. Pride is the root problem.
“Are you insecure? Insecurity often betrays a person too narrowly focused on self.
Read more here.
See also, his recommendation.
Alexander Pope:
Teach me to feel another’s woe, to hide the fault I see, that mercy I show to others, that mercy show to me.
Do you need to go to work unpacking forgiveness? Here for the thoughts of others about Unpacking.
This from Kerri Goss of Peacemakers:
We would like to share the recording [of the webinar on forgiveness]. We hope that you will find your experience to be spiritually-enriching and worth your time. We look forward to hosting more webinars in the future and hope you will join us. If you would like to be on the mailing list for future webinars please reply to this message.
We would encourage you to seize the opportunity to view the recording by downloading the webinar! Vimeo is a free site but you must first join to be able to download the video. You do not have to join if you just want to view the video. Go here to register free with Vimeo. If you search under “Peacemaker Ministries” you will find a host of helpful videos and we are updating this with new content all the time.
After viewing the recording you may have some questions that you would like answered. Please send any questions to Kerri Goss at kgoss@peacemaker.net or reply to this email. You can also direct questions directly to Chris Brauns at chris@theredbrickchurch.org (Please note that Chris is on sabbatical and out of the country for the next 5 weeks and comes back to a very busy schedule so please be patient in expecting a response from Chris) Be sure to check out Chris’ blog www.chrisbrauns.com
Chris Brauns will be a featured keynote speaker at the 2010 Peacemaker Conference. This will be a wonderful event that centers on the topic of forgiveness. Josh Harris (I Kissed Dating Good-bye, Dug Down Deep), Thabiti Anyabwile (What is a Healthy Church Member?, The Gospel for Muslims), Bishop Efraim Tendero (National Director of the Philippine Council of Evangelical Churches), and Ken Sande (The Peacemaker, Peacemaking for Families) will join Chris Brauns in discussing this profound and important topic. Remember that Chris will be leading a workshop on conditional forgiveness as many of you had questions on this topic. This is an opportunity to get specific training on conflict coaching and mediation or attend a host of workshops that will train you to live out the gospel through biblical peacemaking.
On May 25th I will be doing a free online webinar on forgiveness. Space is limited.
Chris Brauns, a keynote speaker for our 2010 Peacemaker Conference and pastor of The Red Brick Church in Stillman Valley, IL will be doing a live webinar on Tuesday, May 25th starting at 9:00am Mountain Time. Chris is visiting our staff as part of our staff retreat, and it is our privilege to have him available for a webinar.
Chris will be taking the audience through a “forgiveness quiz” and will expound upon some common misconceptions about forgiveness. This thought-provoking webinar will help you dig deeper on the topic of forgiveness (and help you prepare for the 2010 Peacemaker Conference on forgiveness).
Visit Peacemakers for more information.
I am looking forward to being part of Peacemaker’s National Conference in the Fall. Anticipating the focus of the conference, Ken Sande reflects about the relationship between bitterness and forgiveness.
I was asked recently whether bitterness and unforgiveness were, in essence, the same thing.
It’s a good question, and here’s where I come down: Although they are closely connected, I don’t think they are the same thing.
Unforgiveness is a choice to withhold forgiveness. This choice is often driven by or overflows as bitterness, but unforgiveness can aggravate or trigger other sinful and negative emotions and actions as well, such as anger, hatred, revenge, slander, etc.
In most biblical texts, bitterness is typically associated with grief, disappointment, hate and anger. It often conveys the spite that harbors resentment and keeps a score of wrongs.
Yesterday, Debbie Chavez interviewed me live on her radio show about Unpacking Forgiveness. The interview begins at about the 5:30 mark. Listen here.
One of the distinctions I made in Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds
If we tell others, "I forgive your sin" even though they refuse to acknowledge their sin, we remove the very incentive the gospel places upon them to confess their sins and to seek forgiveness. If we take preemptive action by granting forgiveness of sin to those who do not repent, on what basis could the church ever follow the procedures of Matthew 18:15-17?
There is a proper biblical or gospel order. We are to imitate God. God forgives the sins of those who repent (cf. 1 John 1:9). Likewise, we must always grant forgiveness to those who repent (cf. Luke 17:3).
In Mark 11:25 Jesus calls us to be forgiving. Scripture requires us to distinguish between being forgiving, which is the virtue of always being ready and eager to forgive, and the act of forgiving, which is the actual remission of the sin done against us. Thus, as God is always forgiving, which means that he is eager and desirous to forgive, and as God forgives those who repent, so godliness/Christlikeness is to be and to do the same.
You can read Caneday’s article, A Biblical Primer and Grammar on Forgiveness of Sin.
See also, others on conditional forgiveness and, Didn’t Jesus pray, “Father forgive them.”
