Abraham Piper shares why it is important for parents to be dull. This is critical and points to one of the dangers of our age.
Archive for the 'Parenting' Category
Dr. Russell Moore gives his answer to this question. Click here.
Dr. Russ Moore raises a questions that is increasingly under consideration. While Dr. Moore has not yet given his response, this is a post where the comments are worth reading.
Click here.
Below are two messages that parents of young children should memorize.
The Bible instructs parents to love their children. But, the Bible does not define love as squishy sentimentalism that gives children whatever they want whenever they ask for it.
In fact, Scripture says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” (Pr 13:24) Parents who truly love their children consistently discipline them.
As the parent of four children, I do not enjoy disciplining my children. But, one sentence I learned early on is very helpful. In the context of discipline I have learned to say and think:
Message #1: I love you too much to teach you that you can make bad choices without any consequences. As someone has said, “Choose to sin, choose to suffer.” Don’t be deceived God cannot be mocked. You reap what you sow. (Galatians 6:7-8).
Or, when my children are upset with me because they think I am too protective, I say and think this:
Message #2: All your life, I have been willing to die for you. I can honestly tell you that it came down to your life or my life, I would give up mine on your behalf. So, if I am willing to die for you, then having you upset with me because I am protecting you is a relatively small thing in my world. If protecting you, means you being mad at me, then so be it.”
Parents, if you are unwilling to discipline your children then you are being unloving to them.
“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” (Pr 13:24)
Parents, we need to help our children understand that text messaging is not a neutral form of communication. The method shapes the message and the messenger.
Al Mohler reflects on how text message and the electronic age is shaping our young people. In so doing, he interacts with a recent Wall Street Journal article.
Jeffery Zaslow of The Wall Street Journal opens his article with the story of a 17-year-old boy sent to the vice principal’s office after being caught sending text messages in class. The vice principal, Steve Gallagher, told the boy to pay attention to the teacher, not to his cellphone. Even as the boy nodded politely, Gallagher noticed something amiss — the boy was texting about his discipline for being caught texting.
“It was a subconscious act,” said Gallagher. “Young people today are connected socially from the moment they open their eyes in the morning until they close their eyes at night. It’s compulsive.”
Zaslow calls the lifestyle of these young people “hypersocializing.”
Read the whole thing here.
At dinner, my children discussed whether or not one can find a justification for “talking smack” as they say, with Elijah’s taunting comments on Mt. Carmel. 1 Kings 18:27. According to the boys, this is a pertinent question given that a certain amount of trash talking happens in the “trenches” of football games.
But, first I need cover the menu. We had mashed potatoes, ham balls, and green beans. My wife was near the top of her game. It was a top notch meal. (Though, it does need to be said that my sister-in-law Julie makes slightly better ham balls).
After inhaling the ham balls, we read a chapter from Bruce Ware’s book, Big Truths for Young Hearts and focused on the truth that there is only one God.
Ware pointed out that when Elijah defeated Baal on Mt. Carmel, it was important that it happened where it did.
One very interesting thing about this story is where it took place. Elijah confronted those prophets of Baal at Mt. Carmel, an area that was supposed to be where Baal was in charge. The worshippers of Baal would not have been surprised to see the God of Israel consume the altar with fire if this had happened in Jerusalem. They thought that Jerusalem was the place where the God of Israel was in charge. But on Mt. Carmel, Baal was supposed to be in charge. So when the God of Israel responded to Elijah’s prayer and consumed the altar, this showed two things: not only was the God of Israel the true God, but also the true God was in charge everywhere, not just in certain places. Because God is the true God, and because he has made all that is, he also alone is the rightful ruler of all that he has made. Page 39.
As a family, we then talked briefly about the chapter: we debated how to properly reference Jesus when referring to to the Trinity – - prayed around the table – - and sang one stanza of, “Nothing But the Blood.”
Don’t make devotions hard. Whether you are having ham balls or frozen pizza, read a brief selection, talk about it, pray, and sing.
As for talking smack, since our youth group is memorizing Ephesians 4:29. We better interpret Elijah’s taunting in light of that explicit teaching.
See also what we talked about when we had Reuben sandwiches here.
Those who have raised teens or worked with them notice that young people often struggle with being too critical. Of course, not all teens sin in this area. But, many do, particularly those who have some God given critical thinking skills.
So, why do teens lean towards being inappropriately critical? Being critical often results from a combination of God-given discernment and insight combined with sinful pride and immaturity.
I liken it to giving a four year old little boy a razor sharp axe. The hope is that one day the boy will grow up to be a great lumberjack. But, in the mean time, he hasn’t learned how to properly use his tool and so he tends to try out his cutting edge on the dining room furniture
Similarly, young people often have sharp critical thinking skills. They can identify shortcomings with different teachers or programs. However, they have not yet developed the maturity to know when those weakness and short comings need not be pointed out, or when it is their place to say nothing about the weaknesses. Their pride has 20:20 vision where the faults of others are concerned. But, they are blind as a bat when asked to take a look at their own faults.
So, how do we help teen critics?
Our call as parents and pastors is to help young people see themselves more clearly in relationship to Christ. It is when we survey the Wondrous Cross on which the prince of glory died, that we pour contempt on all our pride. This can only be accomplished as we meet Christ in His Word. Our goal must be in an ongoing way to have Christ-centered homes that point our families to the wonder and glory of God. It is when we see God and all His greatness that we are humbled and less critical.
Why not read Isaiah 40 aloud as a family. You don’t need to explicitly relate it to someone being critical, or any other sin for that matter. Instead, lose yourself in the immensity of God – - “Do you not know, have you not heard, the LORD is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. . .” (Isaiah 40:28).
By the way – - isn’t it true that teens aren’t the only ones who struggle with a critical spirit?
I posted previously that parents should strive for homes where the aroma of Christ is a part of every day life.
One of the ways we do this is through family devotions. My family is currently using the book, Big Truths for Young Hearts, in our family devotions. We read all or part of a chapter and discuss it briefly. (Full disclosure: we don’t do this every day).
You can listen to the author of this book online. Andy Naselli links to two sermons by Bruce Ware. Notice the second is on teaching truth to children. (Click here).
Moralism – - the idea that we merit God’s favor by being good – - is the deadly enemy of Christian parenting. Moralism trusts in its own goodness, virtue, and principled intentions to get a “not guilty” verdict from God on the day of judgment. It is deceptive. A cloak of morality over an unregenerate heart can make it difficult to discern the child’s true spiritual condition. William P. Farley, page 42, emphasis his.
Parents, I recommend this book! The Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting
We spotted a stray flake of snow a few days ago in the Valley. And, there is enough of a nip in the air, to make it acceptable to start Christmas shopping.
So, here is a gift idea: Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting
I would especially commend it as a gift for fathers.
Looking back on these families and others like them, I notice the results have been mixed. Some children thrived. Their youthful faith blossomed in adulthood. They married well, and became stable, productive participants in their local churches.
Others did not fare so well. Many have completely abandoned their parents’ faith. Why? What went wrong? Why did some parents succeed and others fail? Was it a failure of technique? Most of the parents disciplined their children, some more than others. We all loved them.
The results appear to have nothing to do with where the child was educated. In my experience, there have been no qualitative differences in the spiritual output from home schools, Christian schools, or public schools.
The common denominator between success and failure seems to be spiritual depth and sincerity of the parents, especially the spiritual depth and sincerity of the father. There seems to be a strong correlation between the faith, commitment and sincerity of the family’s head and the spiritual vitality of his adult children. . .
In my experience, the most effective parents have a clear grasp of the cross and its implications for daily life. The implications are manifold. They include the fear of God, a marriage that preaches the gospel to its children, deeply ingrained humility, gratitude, joy, firmness coupled with affection, and consistent teaching modeled by parents daily. (pages 14-15)
