But, there is a better question than, “Do you love your children enough to die for them?” The better question is, “Do you love your children enough to say ‘no’ to them?”

There have been times as a father that I have said “no” to something one of our children wanted to do in order to protect him or her.  On a few occasions, that child would  let me know that he or she was not pleased with me for denying the request.

At such times here is what I tell my children.  My goal is to protect you.  If protecting you means having you upset with me, so be it.  I love you enough to die for you; you being upset with me is a relatively small thing in my world.

Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24).”  Truly loving your children means saying  “no” even though they may not want to hear it.

My mind still can’t quite grasp the devastation of the Joplin Tornado. The destructive force is mind numbing. I’m sure it’s worse in person.

Even though some weeks have now passed since the Joplin Tornado, I was reminded of it today when I read Proverbs 11:29, “Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind. . .” The Proverb brings to mind the picture of a home destroyed by the wind. The point is that those who rebel bring about, one way or another, the sort of mind numbing destruction of a tornado that flattens homes.

If your home has been “flattened” by the rebellion of a family member, do be encouraged by the next verse Proverbs 11:30, “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life . . .” While the rebellious are a destructive force, godly people offer nourishment to those who pass by. Be godly. For your family, God can use you in great ways.

See also Nothing Hurts More than Rebellious Children and How Should Parents Unpack Forgiveness with Rebellious Children.

Your kids will fail. This is both inevitable and also necessary. Apparently not many parents today want to hear this uncomfortable fact. And they certainly don’t want to implement it in how they discipline their children. Writing the cover story for The Atlantic’s July/August issue, therapist Lori Gottlieb alerts us that the cult of self-esteem is ruining our kids. Convinced they are the center of the universe and capable of anything, our children have become insufferable narcissists. . .

Read the rest here.

The cats are out of control. There’s like 15 of them, but I don’t even know. Anything more than one cat is too many if you’re more of a dog person. I’m not even a dog person, though. I’m a beta fish lady.

It all started when I rescued four barn kittens when we moved to the farm. They were minutes away from certain death, and I hadn’t done my good deed for the week if the laundry doesn’t count for anything. But this is how it goes. If you do a good deed, you get taken advantage of. It spirals. If you give a mouse a cookie, then they want milk. Good deeds come back to bite you, or in our case, pee all over your petunias.

The kittens grew up and multiplied and now we have too many cats. Cats cost money because they eat cat food and ruin your plants. We live in a rural area where cats are seen as enemy combatants in a video game. If you hit one, you get 10 points, but I think that’s cruel. Spiders and snakes and rats? Yes. But not cats and dogs and hamsters.

I’m a softie so long as you’re not lying to me. Then I get mean. I won’t kill a cat (not on purpose), but I still think there is such thing as too much of a good thing.

I paid the vet to spay three of the original four cats. (The fourth cat was too far along in her pregnancy.) Two hundred bucks later (I bought the pain pills….) and all three of the cats were . . .

Read the rest here.

August 11, 1991

Dear Christopher,

I’m writing this note to you now because I don’t know what the future holds for me. I want you to forgive me for being sick and not being able to be there for you when and if you need me, but I want you to know one thing above all else. I love you so much that I can’t describe the feelings that I’m going through.

I want you to grow up and be a success at whatever you attempt to do. The time that I did spend with you was a wonderful and enjoyable time in my life and you helped make it that way. This letter is very hard for me to write because I keep starting to cry, knowing that I will not be here when you are reading this. The sadness keeps overwhelming me and tears are flowing down my face. I’m so very proud of you and you have shown me just how smart you are already. I expect you to grow and be able to use your head to think things out and to be able to ask questions if you don’t understand something.

Above all else I need to know that you will always be there for your Mother and your sister. Your family is more important to you than anything else in this world. I know that there will be times that you get upset with Mom for not letting you do something that you want to do, but she does really know what is best for you. Listen to her and learn from her advice.

I’ve left you all my tools and tool boxs and other neat stuff. I hope that you . . .

See the letter and read the rest here.

HT: Gunny

I encourage our congregation that for the rest of their lives, they should have a discipline of reading the day’s chapter of Proverbs.  Today is the 29th, so read the 29th chapter.

Don’t be legalistic about it.  It doesn’t need to be every day.  But maybe 3-5 times a week read a chapter and write at the top of that chapter in your bible the month and year.  So today I would write 3/11.

You don’t have to spend extended time doing this, but make a point to let at least one Proverb sink in. Write a note paraphrasing it next to the Proverb.  Read it aloud. Tell someone about it.

On the 29th, you might consider Proverbs 29:25: “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trust in the LORD is safe.”

All of us struggle at points being more concerned with what people think than with what God thinks.  What does it look like in your world to fear people?

• Maybe for a teenager it looks like being too fashion conscious, too concerned about what others think about your look.
• For a parent, it might mean allowing your teen to do something which is against your better judgment because you don’t want to have friction at home.  (See this post on parenting).
• For a pastor it might mean an unwillingness to preach the Word.  But, it also mean an unwillingness to take time off with your family because you are afraid of what other people would say.

In short, if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshipper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular). If a father goes but irregularly to church, regardless of his wife’s devotion, between a half and two-thirds of their offspring will find themselves coming to church regularly or occasionally.

The rest here.

Mario deserved it.  As I pointed out earlier, he is a drug dealer.  And, the most insidious drug is the one you give to someone else for your own benefit.  (See here).

You may have noticed that you haven’t recently see Mario ordering a latte at Starbucks.  Turns out that he was “clipped” by Trevin Wax’s parents. 

And, Trevin is putting out a contract on the entire Mario family.

Read about it here.

As a parent, I am so thankful that we have carefully limited video games over the years.  One of the first things I would say to to any parent is, limit videos even if the content is okay.