A Brick in the Valley

It’s the 16th.  Why not read Proverbs 16 today?

Proverbs 16:28 reads, “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.”

This cartoon makes the point.

Click here for more on reading Proverbs.

Grandchildren are jewels that adorn the countenance of their grandparents.

I assume you agree, Grandparents are one of the greatest features of God’s creation. I have never met someone who opposed the institution of grandparents.  Why wouldn’t we love grandparents?  They are such a blessing.

One of the things I appreciated about Kevin DeYoung’s book, Just Do Something, was his stories of how his grandparents imparted wisdom to him. This is as it should be. It is the Lord’s design that grandparents share the wisdom that can only be learned from life experience. My grandpa used to say that he graduated from Knox college, meaning the school of “hard knocks.” He made sure to share his lessons with me.

So grandchildren learn wisdom from grandparents, but there is a lot in it for grandparents, too. I don’t have any grandchildren, but observing grandparents over the years, it would seem that they are experiencing a great deal of joy.

Proverbs 17:6 says it this way, "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers (Proverbs 17:6)."  Paraphrased, grandchildren are like the most beautiful gems in the world that glisten and shine all about the countenance of their grandchildren

I have never met Kevin DeYoung’s grandparents.  But, I’ll bet their faces shine whenever they talk about their grandson who is a godly pastor and author.

You really ought to read Kevin’s book.  It’s your chance to learn from his grandparents, and from God’s Word.

One of my major goals for the coming years is to continue to develop male leadership in our church.  There are a group of guys that I sent this email out to today.

Guys,

Did you read Proverbs 30 today? What stood out to you? I am going to start putting these on my blog too. So, if you want, you can comment there. Or, you can hit reply-all to this message and share what stood out.

I have a confession. During our trip to Iowa I didn’t do Proverbs every day. I know, your confidence in me is shattered. Truth of the matter is, it isn’t that uncommon for me to miss a day. But, this is why I see Proverbs as a discipline for the rest of my life. I don’t get too stressed out if I miss a day or two because I know that I am going to come back to it over and over again.

Indeed, today’s chapter which points to the example of how the ant works (Proverbs 30:25) reminds us that smart workers know how to accumulate bit size portions of work over long periods of time.

I approach Proverbs like an ant.  I’ve told you before that whenever I read a chapter of Proverbs, I write the day and the month at the top of the chapter. I have different Bibles so no one Bible gives a comprehensive record of my Proverbs reading. But, in the Bible I used this morning I have down these days written at the top of Proverbs 30: (1/3, 5/7, 11/7, 6/3, 10/3, 5/4, 11/3, 9/4, 12/9) – - Over time, like the ant, reading a chapter of Proverbs a day will accumulate.

Press on. Rinse your minds in Scripture. Do just an ant-like portion of work today. Just pick up a crumb and carry it into the next room.

Chris.

P.S. Proverbs 30:2 is not my life verse, but maybe it should be. (If you think so, please don’t tell me).  Of course, that verse could be read in a wrong way that is just a form of self-pity. But, I use it as motivation to crave the Word of God.  After all, apart from it, I know nothing.

C.J. Mahaney:

Tiger Woods wants his privacy back.

He wants the media entourage to disappear from his life.

He wants to be left alone so he can manage his personal problems in private.

Not a chance.

The story began unfolding in the early hours of last Friday when he crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a tree and a fire hydrant near his Florida home. He refused to speak with the police about the incident, raising curiosity about the circumstances. The story has now escalated into allegations of marital infidelity, and that generated a blog post from Tiger that stated, “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart.” This statement by Tiger has led most to believe that the allegations of infidelity are true.

Hunted by the Media
As expected, the allegations of adultery involving a public figure are attracting a media pile-on. This is a big story with a big audience and it’s a story that will not disappear soon. Tiger Woods is being hunted by the media.

But let us make sure we do not join the hunt. A Christian’s response to this story should be distinctly different. We should not be entertained by the news. We should not have a morbid interest in all the details. We should be saddened and sobered. We should pray for this man and even more for his wife.

And we can be sure that in the coming days we will be in conversations with friends and family where this topic will emerge. And when it does, we can avoid simply listening to the latest details and speculations, and avoid speaking self-righteously, but instead we can humbly draw attention to the grace of God in the gospel.

Hunted by Sin
But Tiger is being hunted by something more menacing than journalists. Tiger’s real enemy is his sin, and that’s an enemy much more difficult to discern and one that can’t be managed in our own strength. It’s an enemy that never sleeps.

Let me explain.

Read the rest here.

Here is a word of encouragement for living the Christian life. “Don’t let failure give way to failure.” Perhaps there is an area of your life where determined to do better. You prayed that you would have victory. And, yet you find yourself continuing to stumble. So, you are tempted to just say, “Oh forget it.” I will never be able to get a handle on this.

If that is where you are at, then hear this verse from Proverbs 24:16,

For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.(Pr 24:16).

The verse does not say that the righteous never stumble or fall. No, the difference is that even though a righteous many may stumble seven times, he still gets up again.

If you are a Christian you do not need to let failure give way to failure. The book of Lamentations tells us that the mercies of the Lord are new every morning. So, even if you have stumbled seven times, get up again. Find a mature Christian who will keep you accountable. Get help in finding victory.

As C.S. Lewis encouraged:

No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and the clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one’s temper and give up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us, it is the very sign of his presence.” C.S. Lewis quoted in Garland, David E. Colossians/Philemon The NIV Application Commentary, ed. Terry Muck. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1998.

Don’t let failure give way to failure. Get up off the ground and press forward for Christ’s glory and your joy. Have the same attitude as Paul when he said:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.(Php 3:12-14)."

Wisdom is skill for right living.  Wisdom is the saw we use to cut our way through life. We need a sharp saw if we are going to cut our way through life.

Proverbs is one of the best ways to sharpen your wisdom saw.For many years, I have made a practice of reading the chapter of Proverbs corresponding to that day’s date.  Today, for instance, is November 18.  My goal is to read Proverbs 18.

Lest I exaggerate, I don’t do this every single day.  But, I do it many days and across years it makes a tremendous difference.

Often when I read Proverbs, I paraphrase a note as a way to talk to myself about wisdom.  Below are some of the verses that recently struck me from Proverbs 18 with my notes to self.

• 18:1 Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; be breaks out against all sound judgment . . . Note to self: “Get thy sorry carcass to church this Sunday.  Attend small group.  Invite someone over.  Don’t be isolated.”

• Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.  Note to self  “Shut and listen".”

• Proverbs 18:8 Words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.  Note to self “Gossip affects your spiritual waistline,” see here.

• Proverbs 18:9 Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys.  Note to self  “Get to work.”

• Proverbs 18:13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.  Note to self: “Shut up and listen.”

• Proverbs 18:17 One who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.  Memorizing this one.  Note to self:  “Don’t be too impressed when someone comes in and gives you one version of a story.  Listen to the other side too.”

  Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.  Note to self:  “Thank God for Jamie.  I am the most favored man in human history.”

• Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Note to self:  “Thank God for Les, Chip, Jeff, Dave, Dan, and many others.”

What stands out to you from Proverbs 18?

Honorable people avoid strife.  Foolish people are quick to quarrel.

Proverbs 20:3 in four different translations:

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. ESV

It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. NIV

It is an honor for a person to cease from strife, but every fool quarrels. The NET Bible.

Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel. NASB

John Frame offers one explanation of why we are sometimes critical and quick to quarrel, even though wisdom counsels against it:

Because we want glory for ourselves, we seek to find fault in others. Contentious people are constantly looking for something to argue about, some way to start controversy and disrupt the peace.” John Frame*

*Quoted in Jim Belcher, Deep Church, page 66, originally found in Evangelical Reunion (Baker, 1991).

There are two alternatives for dealing with a lion.

Sluggards make excuses:

“The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road! There is a lion in the streets!”(Proverbs 26:13).”

Leaders kill it.

“And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada was a valiant man of Kabzeel, a doer of great deeds. He struck down two heroes of Moab. He also went down and struck down a lion in a pit on a day when snow had fallen.(1 Chronicles 11:22).”

Let’s don’t be excuse makers.  In Kevin DeYoung’s recommended words, let’s “just do something.”

This post is repeated from earlier.

People-centeredness (“the fear of man”) disguises itself in many forms.  The question is not “if” you struggle with being people centered, but how. 

(If you think you never struggle with being people centered, then in your case the problem may be pride, see egocentricity).

Mrs. Vitamin Z humbly explains how perfectionism may betray a “fear of man.”

. . . I realized what I have in the past called "perfectionism", "striving for excellence", "serving within one’s giftedness", is often just the ugly head of "fear of man". I am far too concerned with how I will come across, will others approve of me, will I measure up?

We recently finished Ed Welch’s book, "When People are Big and God is Small" in our home group. While, it obviously didn’t solve my problem with the fear of man, it has at least made me realize how often I struggle with it and remind me where I need to turn my thoughts. So finding myself once again in this familiar place, I thought I would just share the battle with you.

The best way for me to offset fear of man is to concentrate on the All-Surpassing Supremacy of Christ. . .

Read the whole thing here.

Besides perfectionism, what are some other ways we betray a “fear of man”?  Brainstorming:

• Shyness  – (One that parents too often let go)
• An unwillingness to have others into your home because of how you fear it looks – How much fellowship is lost in the Church because we are concerned our houses are too messy?
• An unwillingness to pray in front of others
• Being very private, not sharing prayer requests, or not being willing to talk to your pastor
• Being overly critical
• Always needing to tell the best story (listen to Bryan Regan talk about the “me-monster” and walking on the moon here)

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent (Proverbs 10:19).”

About two months into kindergarten, our daughter Allison gravely told her mother and me that someone had swore on the bus.  Had Allison been given the burden of disclosing the news of original sin, she would not have been any more somber.

As Allison’s father, I knew that we needed to process this with her, so I asked, “What exactly what was said?”

Allison said, “Well, I am not going to say the word, because it is a bad word; it was the ‘sw’ word.”

I racked my brain to figure out what the “sw” word was. I grew up on a farm and farmers can be pretty colorful in expressing themselves when loading livestock or getting a tractor unstuck. But, I couldn’t for the life of me think what the “sw” word might be.  I did wonder if the word was one frequently used in livestock contexts.  That was my best guess.

Finally, I just said, “Allison tell me what the ‘sw’ word is.” She whispered. “’Shut up.’ I was singing on the bus today and a kid told me to shut up.”  She shared this only reluctantly and as though she expected a bolt of lightning to strike our house after she said it.

(We never have gotten to the bottom of why “shut-up” was the “sw” word.  Keep in mind she was in kindergarten).

Jamie and I were relieved that it hadn’t been worse. We were also pleased that “shut-up” was a phrase Allison considered out of bounds, so we nodded solemnly, agreeing with our daughter that, even if one lived only in the company of sailors, “shut-up” should be considered unsuitable language.

Now having said that, what I want to tell you today is that there are times when you should use the “sw” word: “shut-up.”  Indeed, you should frequently say, “shut up,” with particular emphasis and gravity.  You might practice spitting it out a few times even as you read this.  You can say it very rapidly.  Or, you can draw it out making each word last several counts.

What is undoubtedly more important than knowing how to say, “shut-up,” is knowing who to say it to.  And, the person to whom you should say direct it is yourself.  So, when you practice saying “shut-up,” use a mirror.  Squint your eyes a bit and say it to yourself.  This is the point.

Proverbs 10:19 says.  “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.(Pr 10:19).”  While, it’s not a good idea to tell others to “shut up.” There is a time to whisper to yourself: “Shut up!”  Or, you can even say it aloud, so long as it is clear to everyone within earshot that you are directing the imperative at yourself.

Or, if you want to be more literally biblical, say to yourself, “hold your tongue.”

Where words are many, sin is not absent.  Note to self: shut-up.

But, don’t stop singing. Even on the school bus.